We have passed the one year of waiting mark. We get to re-do some of our homestudy and after that...there is Nothing left to do.
As of today, I don't even really have any thoughts. My emotions are neither mad or anxious. I'm just kinda on pause.
Maybe One year...Two weeks will be better...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
It's October! Our One Year Wait-aversary!
October is my favorite month. Ok, put aside the fact that it is my birthday month...October brings cooler weather and colors everywhere! I love having my front porch lit up with mums and pumpkins!
And this October...October 14th, to be exact, is our one year wait-aversary! We will be celebrating one year of successfully waiting for a referral. Hard to believe that a year has gone. I know that this time last year I went through the calendar and wrote on the 14th of each month, "8 months to go" and "6 months to go."
And alas, just when we thought we would be getting a call from our agency with the name of our baby, looks like I have to keep writing on the calendar, "9 more months to go..."
Here's hoping that the pages of the calendar fly by and the beauty of the season will keep us preoccupied with things other than waiting.
And this October...October 14th, to be exact, is our one year wait-aversary! We will be celebrating one year of successfully waiting for a referral. Hard to believe that a year has gone. I know that this time last year I went through the calendar and wrote on the 14th of each month, "8 months to go" and "6 months to go."
And alas, just when we thought we would be getting a call from our agency with the name of our baby, looks like I have to keep writing on the calendar, "9 more months to go..."
Here's hoping that the pages of the calendar fly by and the beauty of the season will keep us preoccupied with things other than waiting.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Enter Stage "It's Just Not Fair"
Last night I entered the stage "It's Just Not Fair" as we continue to wait. I had briefly reviewed this stage in past months, but last night I settled into it. As we approach October, the month we "should" be hearing about a referral, we realize it will probably be FEBRUARY before we get a phone call (which means more like JUNE before we come home with our baby). It's just not fair! And, we have to probably have our whole entire homestudy redone because of waiting, red tape, bureaucracy. It's just not fair.
As someone who has a heart for justice, it has been difficult feeling like this whole thing is unjust. Our hands are tied. We can do no more than what we are doing. So, I am an elephant! Female elephants are pregnant for about 22 months...two years. That's us. I have been pregnant for almost one year. One year down, one more to go! How do elephants do it? Do they think, "this just isn't fair?" What about the biological mother and father of our future baby? Do they think, "It's just not fair" because they do not have the resources to care for the child they love? What about those women or couples who are not able to biologically have a baby and do not have the financial resources to go through IVF or adopt. Are they crying out, "It's just not fair?"
I know, I know..."Life isn't fair." I get it. But right now, I just need to sit in this stage and maybe connect with all the other voices out there who are crying the same mantra.
As someone who has a heart for justice, it has been difficult feeling like this whole thing is unjust. Our hands are tied. We can do no more than what we are doing. So, I am an elephant! Female elephants are pregnant for about 22 months...two years. That's us. I have been pregnant for almost one year. One year down, one more to go! How do elephants do it? Do they think, "this just isn't fair?" What about the biological mother and father of our future baby? Do they think, "It's just not fair" because they do not have the resources to care for the child they love? What about those women or couples who are not able to biologically have a baby and do not have the financial resources to go through IVF or adopt. Are they crying out, "It's just not fair?"
I know, I know..."Life isn't fair." I get it. But right now, I just need to sit in this stage and maybe connect with all the other voices out there who are crying the same mantra.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Our Child Will Be Surrounded by Homeland Faces
John and I just moved. We are now living in Huntersville...the south side of Lake Norman. But I am working in Davidson. We love both Huntersville and Davidson. Any adopted family, and I guess especially adopted parents of international children or children of a minority race or ethnicity, worry about their child "fitting in." John and I have talked about raising our child from Ethiopia -- the joys and the challenges. At some level, we will never be able to identify with our child, culturally and ethnically.
That is why when we moved and instantly became connected (loosely connected right now) with four families who have adopted children from Ethiopia we were thrilled. Even at my church (where I work) there is about to be an adoption support group and there are families with Ethiopian children who are members. We are amazed.
All I keep thinking is how awesome it will be for our child to see other children who like like him/her. They will see other Ethiopian children with Caucasian/American parents and they will not feel so isolated and alone.
We give thanks that we are in a place where others before us have helped pave a way for us. What a joy it is!
That is why when we moved and instantly became connected (loosely connected right now) with four families who have adopted children from Ethiopia we were thrilled. Even at my church (where I work) there is about to be an adoption support group and there are families with Ethiopian children who are members. We are amazed.
All I keep thinking is how awesome it will be for our child to see other children who like like him/her. They will see other Ethiopian children with Caucasian/American parents and they will not feel so isolated and alone.
We give thanks that we are in a place where others before us have helped pave a way for us. What a joy it is!
Monday, July 6, 2009
This Time Next Year...
I've found myself saying this a lot..."This time next year we will have the baby here." Or "This time next year we will have to re-think our vacation." Or "This time next year we will have to find a childcare center." Or "This time next year we will be wishing we had Saturday mornings to sleep in." Some say you can't think too much into the future because it is unknown and something we have no control over. But right now, while we wait for the months to turn the only thing that helps with the wait is to think about this time next year.
I listened in on the monthly webinar our agency hosts. We were reminded that the current wait time is 12-15 months. So hopefully, this time 5 months from now we will have received a call. But it very well could be this time 7 months from now we will be waiting for the call. I wonder if the birth mother of our child is thinking and feeling the same thing? Maybe she is saying, "This time nine months from now I have to make a decision on what to do with this baby." Or maybe she and her husband are thinking, "Maybe this time nine months from now we will have the money it takes to support this baby."
Pondering the future can be hopeful or just a giant tail chase. In the end, we just don't know. But I'm going to chose to cling to the hope of this time a year from now we will be celebrating the summer with our Baby Heun and giving thanks to the parents who had to endure a wait of their own.
I listened in on the monthly webinar our agency hosts. We were reminded that the current wait time is 12-15 months. So hopefully, this time 5 months from now we will have received a call. But it very well could be this time 7 months from now we will be waiting for the call. I wonder if the birth mother of our child is thinking and feeling the same thing? Maybe she is saying, "This time nine months from now I have to make a decision on what to do with this baby." Or maybe she and her husband are thinking, "Maybe this time nine months from now we will have the money it takes to support this baby."
Pondering the future can be hopeful or just a giant tail chase. In the end, we just don't know. But I'm going to chose to cling to the hope of this time a year from now we will be celebrating the summer with our Baby Heun and giving thanks to the parents who had to endure a wait of their own.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Ok, God...Just So We are Clear...We've Got the Patience Lesson...What's Next?
John and I participated in a webinar last night with CHSFS (our adoption agency). Many in the Ethiopia program are curious about what is taking so long, why the delays, and wanted a forum to ask questions.
Looks like the current wait time is 12-18 months. The best thing to tell all of you is that we have no idea when we will be getting a call with a referral.
October? December? March 2010? We don't know. But I am hoping that 14 months will be our mark which would mean we won't end 2009 without a phone call from our specialist.
My conversation with God has been: Ok, God. I think we have learned the lesson on patience. We can move on to something else now!
We will covet your prayers as we continue to wait for our child to be matched with us!
Looks like the current wait time is 12-18 months. The best thing to tell all of you is that we have no idea when we will be getting a call with a referral.
October? December? March 2010? We don't know. But I am hoping that 14 months will be our mark which would mean we won't end 2009 without a phone call from our specialist.
My conversation with God has been: Ok, God. I think we have learned the lesson on patience. We can move on to something else now!
We will covet your prayers as we continue to wait for our child to be matched with us!
Friday, April 24, 2009
The Latest Statistics for Us Waiters
Well, Here is the latest look of statistics from our Adoption Agency.
Here is an update about what families are currently experiencing:
- 24 families received a referral in the month of March. So far in April, 12 families have accepted referrals for 15 children.
- the wait time estimate for a single child continues to be 12-18 months from dossier submission. Currently families are receiving a referral of a single child approximately 13 months after submitting a dossier.
- of the families who received a referral of a single child in March/early April, one family waited 13 months and 1 week, while another family waited about 11 months.
- families “at the top of the list” for a referral submitted their dossier in March 2008
- court date assignments that we received at the end of March were for a date approximately 8 weeks after a family accepted their referral; which is a positive change from the 12 week time frame we had previously been seeing. Hopefully this will continue to be the pattern.
-at this time we continue to see families traveling to Ethiopia about 16 weeks after they accept a referral.
On a related note, CHSFS Ethiopia has finally received all of the necessary documents and permissions needed in order to begin referring children from Bethel Orphanage in Nazret, Oromiya! A few children have already been matched with CHSFS families and we hope to be placing more children from there soon.
Maybe it will be October when we get a call afterall! Keep the Faith!
Here is an update about what families are currently experiencing:
- 24 families received a referral in the month of March. So far in April, 12 families have accepted referrals for 15 children.
- the wait time estimate for a single child continues to be 12-18 months from dossier submission. Currently families are receiving a referral of a single child approximately 13 months after submitting a dossier.
- of the families who received a referral of a single child in March/early April, one family waited 13 months and 1 week, while another family waited about 11 months.
- families “at the top of the list” for a referral submitted their dossier in March 2008
- court date assignments that we received at the end of March were for a date approximately 8 weeks after a family accepted their referral; which is a positive change from the 12 week time frame we had previously been seeing. Hopefully this will continue to be the pattern.
-at this time we continue to see families traveling to Ethiopia about 16 weeks after they accept a referral.
On a related note, CHSFS Ethiopia has finally received all of the necessary documents and permissions needed in order to begin referring children from Bethel Orphanage in Nazret, Oromiya! A few children have already been matched with CHSFS families and we hope to be placing more children from there soon.
Maybe it will be October when we get a call afterall! Keep the Faith!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
May Now Be Looking at DECEMBER???!!!!
Well, I got the latest newsletter from our agency and we were told that due to a huge number of applications last late summer to fall, we may be looking at 14 months of total waiting. I have to say that I am heartbroken. What is two more months? It is two more months of going with no control over anything, two more months of waiting for a name then waiting three months to travel, two more months of not having a child. Two more months which leaves me asking, "Did we make the right decision?" "Maybe we should have done domestic adoption." "Maybe we should have gone with another agency." "Maybe we should have gone with another country." Two months, when we have been waiting for so long, feels like a life-time!
But what choice do we have? We wait. And pray that God will maybe speed up time or work with the system to get more needed orphans homes of love!
But what choice do we have? We wait. And pray that God will maybe speed up time or work with the system to get more needed orphans homes of love!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Happy Ganna! Christmas in Ethiopia is TODAY!
The Ethiopian Christmas, known locally as Ganna after a hockey-like game the shepherds played when Jesus was born, usually falls on the old Julian calendar date of 7 January. The celebration has a gently festive air, especially on Christmas Eve in Addis, where people gather to eat, drink and dance.
Christmas is generally not that important in Ethiopia. This is partly because Orthodox Christianity is more centred around Mary than Christ, but most importantly because death is considered more significant than birth, hence Easter is a much larger religious occasion than Christmas. Only very dedicated Christians fast before Christmas, whereas almost all fast before Easter. Many people follow the Ethiopian Orthodox Christian approach. On Christmas Eve, a religious ceremony takes place in all Orthodox Christian churches throughout the Ethiopian highlands. The ceremonies are long and involve the whole congregation. Priests dance sedately, swaying side to side in time with their sistrums (percussion instruments), while young men dance around a drummer, leaping and jumping, achieving an almost trance-like state. The ceremony begins sedately and builds up through the night into a crescendo, the music from the church being heard far and wide until the early hours of the morning. In most towns, Christmas Day itself is largely a family affair, with the occasional game of Ganna being played in the afternoon.
An invitation to a family Christmas is the best way to enjoy the day. If you're lucky enough to be invited, be prepared to eat a feast of delicious specialities and drink homebrew until late in the day.The place to really experience a traditional Ganna is in Lalibela, which was built as Ethiopia's own Jerusalem by King Lalibela in the 12th century. There is therefore a particularly strong connection with Christ here, and pilgrims travel for days to attend colourful ceremonies in all of the 13 rock-hewn churches nested in the hillside. After church though, if possible, buy a goat or some tej (honey wine) and pay a visit to the adopted family you've found!
Christmas Traditions in EthiopiaEthiopia is one of the oldest nations in Africa. It still follows the ancient Julian calendar, so Ethiopians celebrate Christmas on January 7. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church's celebration of Christ's birth is called Ganna. It is a day when families attend church.
On January 19, Ethiopians begin the three-day celebration called Timkat.The day before Ganna, people fast all day. The next morning at dawn, everyone dresses in white. Most Ethiopians don a traditional shamma, a thin, white cotton wrap with brightly colored stripes across the ends. The shamma is worn somewhat like a toga. Urban Ethiopians might put on white Western garb. Then everyone goes to the early mass at four o'clock in the morning. In a celebration that takes place several days later, the priests will dress in turbans and red and white robes as they carry beautifully embroidered fringed umbrellas.
Most Ethiopians who live outside the modern capital city, Addis Ababa, live in round mud-plastered houses with cone-shaped roofs of thatched straw. In areas where stone is plentiful, the houses may be rectangular stone houses. The churches in Ethiopia echo the shape of the houses. In many parts of the country there are ancient churches carved out of solid volcanic rock. Modern churches are built in three concentric circles.In a modern church, the choir assembles in the outer circle. Each person entering the church is given a candle. The congregation walks around the church three times in a solemn procession, holding the flickering candles. Then they gather in the second circle to stand throughout the long mass, with the men and boys separated from the women and girls. The center circle is the holiest space in the church, where the priest serves Holy Communion.
Christmas is generally not that important in Ethiopia. This is partly because Orthodox Christianity is more centred around Mary than Christ, but most importantly because death is considered more significant than birth, hence Easter is a much larger religious occasion than Christmas. Only very dedicated Christians fast before Christmas, whereas almost all fast before Easter. Many people follow the Ethiopian Orthodox Christian approach. On Christmas Eve, a religious ceremony takes place in all Orthodox Christian churches throughout the Ethiopian highlands. The ceremonies are long and involve the whole congregation. Priests dance sedately, swaying side to side in time with their sistrums (percussion instruments), while young men dance around a drummer, leaping and jumping, achieving an almost trance-like state. The ceremony begins sedately and builds up through the night into a crescendo, the music from the church being heard far and wide until the early hours of the morning. In most towns, Christmas Day itself is largely a family affair, with the occasional game of Ganna being played in the afternoon.
An invitation to a family Christmas is the best way to enjoy the day. If you're lucky enough to be invited, be prepared to eat a feast of delicious specialities and drink homebrew until late in the day.The place to really experience a traditional Ganna is in Lalibela, which was built as Ethiopia's own Jerusalem by King Lalibela in the 12th century. There is therefore a particularly strong connection with Christ here, and pilgrims travel for days to attend colourful ceremonies in all of the 13 rock-hewn churches nested in the hillside. After church though, if possible, buy a goat or some tej (honey wine) and pay a visit to the adopted family you've found!
Christmas Traditions in EthiopiaEthiopia is one of the oldest nations in Africa. It still follows the ancient Julian calendar, so Ethiopians celebrate Christmas on January 7. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church's celebration of Christ's birth is called Ganna. It is a day when families attend church.
On January 19, Ethiopians begin the three-day celebration called Timkat.The day before Ganna, people fast all day. The next morning at dawn, everyone dresses in white. Most Ethiopians don a traditional shamma, a thin, white cotton wrap with brightly colored stripes across the ends. The shamma is worn somewhat like a toga. Urban Ethiopians might put on white Western garb. Then everyone goes to the early mass at four o'clock in the morning. In a celebration that takes place several days later, the priests will dress in turbans and red and white robes as they carry beautifully embroidered fringed umbrellas.
Most Ethiopians who live outside the modern capital city, Addis Ababa, live in round mud-plastered houses with cone-shaped roofs of thatched straw. In areas where stone is plentiful, the houses may be rectangular stone houses. The churches in Ethiopia echo the shape of the houses. In many parts of the country there are ancient churches carved out of solid volcanic rock. Modern churches are built in three concentric circles.In a modern church, the choir assembles in the outer circle. Each person entering the church is given a candle. The congregation walks around the church three times in a solemn procession, holding the flickering candles. Then they gather in the second circle to stand throughout the long mass, with the men and boys separated from the women and girls. The center circle is the holiest space in the church, where the priest serves Holy Communion.
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