Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Blessing

This was a blessing used at a friend's ordination service. I share it with all of you!

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. May the peace of God and the God of peace be with you forevermore. AMEN.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Advent...the season of waiting

Happy Waiting to all!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Need Africa More Than Africa Needs Me

Here is a great video from YouTube!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Transracial Adoption

I have found many people to be curious about what life will be like for our child and family. People are curious especially since we are adopting a child of color. We know it will not be easy, but we are doing as much as we can to educate ourselves and those closest to us. We just had Thanksgiving with a family member who had adopted children. It was such a blessing to see a family full of love and no one seeming to notice children who were ethnically different than their parents. In the end, we know that grace will transcend our outer differences and bind us together as one family.
Here is the "Transracial Adopted Children's Bill of Rights:"

* Every child is entitled to love and full membership in his or her family.
*Every child is entitled to have his or her heritage and culture embraced and valued.
* Every child is entitled to parents who value individuality and enjoy complexity.
* Every child is entitled to parents who understand that this is a race conscious society.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know their child will experience life in ways differently from theirs.
* Every child is entitled to parents who are not seeking to "save" a child or to make the world a better place by adopting.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know belonging to a family is not based on physical matching.
* Every child is entitled to parents who have significant relationships with people of other races.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know transracial adoption changes the family structure forever.
* Every child is entitled to be accepted by his or her extended family members.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know that if they are white they experience the benefits of racism because the country's system is organized that way.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know they cannot be the sole transmitter of the child's culture when it is not their own.
* Every child is entitled to grow up with items in their home environment created for and by people of their own race or ethnicity.
* Every child is entitled to have places available to make friends with people of his or her race or ethnicity.
* Every child is entitled to have opportunities in his or her environment to participate in positive experiences with his or her birth culture.
* Every child is entitled to opportunities to build racial pride within his or her own home, school, and neighborhood.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008




What to do while waiting for a baby?
Bike 17 miles down a mountain in Virginia!






Friday, November 14, 2008

One Month Down

Well, as of today, we have been officially waiting for one month! That means we are one month down and eleven more to go! We made it thus far and figure another eleven months will be a breeze!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How do you Support an Adoptive Parent?

I've come to realize that most people don't really know what to do with adoptive parents. It isn't their fault. We really don't do a lot to publicize adoption and therefore, we don't know what to do. With pregnancy we can get excited as we see a belly grow or celebrate an ultrasound picture. Adoptive parents don't have that. They have big words like Dossier and Homestudy and I600A forms. Don't see too many greeting cards for "Congrats on getting that Dossier done!" So, this past week, I've had several things happen to John and me that have been supportive of our adoption:
*John's parents sent us baby stuff! We got burp cloths and a blanket and a stuffed bear that plays "Jesus loves me!" It was a sign that they are getting excited too!
*One of our churches (Susan is a pastor of two United Methodist congregations) gave a gift to Susan and John in honor of Pastor Appreciation month. It was a gift to Africa Famine Relief in their name. This was a great gift which said, "Hey, we celebrate your adopting from Africa and we want to be a part of the process! Meant the world!!!!
*Susan and John got a cartoon from Susan's mom that showed two kangaroos coming up to another kangaroo. In the pouch of one it held a giraffe and the kangaroos said, "We've adopted!" Not only was this funny, but it was a sign of support and encouragement!
*A church member came up to Susan and talked about her experience of a neighbor who had adopted from Eastern Europe. It was her way of starting the conversation and made Susan feel like her adoption was important.
*Susan's parents went with her to look at cribs and strollers. Even though we have a ways to go, there is a need to nest. This helped validate the need to nest and prepare!

So, if you know of someone who is adopting and are wondering what to do...it's the little things that can matter. Ask the couple what is going on in their process. Talk with them about it. Have the couple share their story. Learn all you can about the country and make a gift to help relieve suffering in that region. Know that even though a belly isn't getting bigger and it may be a long wait, pregnancy is happening!

Continued thanks for the support! 11 months to go!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

It's Official!

We are now Officially Waiting! Though it may seem like a technicality of wording, this is a very big deal. This means our agency received all of our dossier paperwork and all was in order. They are now sending things to the Ethiopian Embassy and on to the Ethiopians to await our match with an infant 0-12 months (or twins if they happen to have any, who knows?).

What a relief. Though we have about 12 months of wait time, we have lots to do. Work, work, work and start a nursery list, maybe begin decorating and gathering travel stuff (you have to take just about everything when you go get a baby in a 3rd world country. That should keep us busy for a while. We won't have much to share over the next few months, but will fill you in as often as we can and update you on what life of waiting is like for us! In the meantime...Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future and into a family!

What are our plans? We hope to do some traveling (talked about Alaska --moose!) and live the single life while we are able. And pray that we are able to actually handle this parenting thing that we have worked so hard to obtain!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Experts in Waiting

Our adoption agency has a forum group for all of us waiting folks to get online and chat about the process, forms, and the biggest discussion --WAITING! The latest has been that someone on the forum shared they had been working with another agency and they had waited about 2months for a referral. Well, all panic broke loose. Hundreds of waiting Ethiopian adoption people freaked out! How could our wait be 12 months if those people only waited 2 months? Should we switch to that agency? What should we do?
I have to admit that my first instinct (as I know that John and I just returned from having all of our dossier documents notarized (thanks Dianne) and they are ready to be authenticated by the Secretary of State and then sent to our agency for finalization) was to stop the process and find out how we could switch to an agency that could get us a child in a few months. I have had similar feelings this week as up here in Denver we have been without gas! Should I go to Mooresville to try to find gas? Do I have enough in my car to get me there? What should I do? Those of us who are going through adoption, you have to understand, feel very out of control. I have felt lately that I need something that I can control. I can't control the Department of Homeland Security to make sure they return our 171H form (which we got in the mail today!) and I can't control the Ethiopian government who may shut down court because power went out. I chopped all my hair off a few weeks ago. Why? Because I could control the length of my hair. So, we tend to freak out if we feel that there may be a way to control this process of adoption.
So...Here is what I decided. #1 Step away from the forum group. Way too much stress for me right now! #2 Nothing in the last two years has been in my hands and certainly the referral of our child is not in my hands. If it takes 12 months for God to match us with the child meant for us then let it be 12 months. Is it what we had planned? No! But I have a sneaky feeling it is what God has planned for us.
Now that I have come to this conclusion that no, we are not switching agencies and whether it is 2009 or 2010 when we come home with our child it will be the right time! And there is something very freeing in coming to that conclusion. Makes breathing a bit easier. And in the end all of this will just make us experts in waiting...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

United Methodists Reach Out to Ethiopia

The United Methodist Church has a way to respond to situations all over the world. The General Board of Global Ministries' outreach center is called UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief). UMCOR is able to receive money for individual projects and situations through The Advance. All money given to the Advance #, 100% goes directly to the project. Here is the latest from UMCOR:


ETHIOPIA: DROUGHT RELIEF
A severe drought in southern Ethiopia is robbing the people of their lives, livelihoods, and their future. The cattle are dying. For the Borana people cattle are the center of their lives. They provide food, income, and a dowry. Without cattle the practical and social aspects of life are gone.
UMCOR is partnering with ACT International member agency, Christian Aid to providing food, water and work so the Borana can restore their lives.
Give to All Africa Famine Relief, UMCOR Advance #101259, All Africa Famine Relief, to restore the lives of the Borana and many others who suffer from drought and famine in Africa.

You can give by mail:
Make your check to UMCOR and mail to UMCOR
PO Box 9068, New York, NY 10087

Or by going online to:
http://new.gbgm-umc.org/umcor/

Dossier Just About Done

Our dossier documents are just about all gathered. Wow! What a long list of things we have to gather to send to the agency and then to Ethiopia! We get more and more excited as each stage is complete. We had to go get fingerprinted in Charlotte which was yet another process down! So, once we get our documents complete (waiting on the Lincoln County Sheriff's Department), we get them all notarized and then send three of them to the Secretary of the State to be authenticated! Then we send to our agency and to Ethiopia and we wait for a referral. Referral times vary but it could be 9 months before we hear anything.
Let the waiting begin (continue)...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Quote of the Week

"Adoption is the visible Gospel!"
--John Piper

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Prayers for the Death of our Baby Boy

Well, we got a sad phone call yesterday. The minister who had been working with us and with the birth mother called to let us know the birth mother's water broke yesterday and the baby died. It was due to an infection and nothing could be done. The baby was a boy. Our hearts are sad --not only for us for for the birth mother too. John and I are refusing to let this get us down and so we are continuing with the Ethiopian adoption. Keep the birth mother and us in your prayers as we keep moving forward.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

And the Lesson is...

John and I met with the birth mother Sunday night. It was a great meeting. We felt an instant connection to this young lady and I think we all felt better after having talked and shared. So, as of today, we are all going through with things. I am waiting to hear from the lawyer about our next steps. Our Ethiopian adoption will go on hold and I've just decided to give up trying to control whether our forms and paperwork will last until we can adopt from Ethiopia (we have to wait at least one year before adopting again). It wouldn't be the first time we lost some money in this process. So, the lesson for us is...Quit trying to control this process and enjoy the ride. Easier to write than do, but so far, when we have tried to manipulate or control paperwork, government forms, and process we have been diverted in a new direction.

Everyone is asking if it will be an open or closed adoption. We aren't sure. But we already feel like we were brought into this birth mother's life and to completely forget about that just doesn't feel good. Those are details we will work out as we go along. Could she change her mind? Yes. But right now, she feels sure she will go through with it. We all have to learn not to judge her and try to empathize with her in this situation too.

We are excited about this new direction. So, we begin to think about a nursery, cloth diapers (yes, I said cloth), car seats, and long nights. And we pray (a lot) for God to be working with our birth mother and our baby that they both are healthy and feeling God's peace for a huge transition in all our lives.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Connections Made!

An update in our world of adoption mania!

We have been approached by a young lady (through a minister friend of Susan's) to be parent for her baby (due in January). We have not met this young woman yet. We hope to on Sunday. We have talked with a lawyer and after meeting her on Sunday we hope to have some clarity as whether to proceed with this private adoption or not. This all happened very interestingly. Susan was at Camp Meeting (http://www.denvernc.com/campmeeting.htm) and ran into a minister-friend who said, "Hey, Susan. Someone told me you would know who I could direct a young woman to who is interested in giving her baby up for adoption. Who can she go to?" Susan responded, "Us! Send her to us." The minister-friend had no idea we were going through adoption and we all felt like this was a God-directed moment. We are honored and humbled to be part of this process with this young lady and pray for discernment and guidance.

We have decided to continue with Ethiopia adoption and we are not quite sure what will happen with this. When we are firm with whether or not we will pursue this private adoption then we will contact our agency, CHSFS, and ask for their guidance. Our hope is that it would delay Ethiopia and we may have to update a few documents but not do the ENTIRE SET OF PAPERWORK ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!

So there is the latest. Ain't life funny? We don't realize just how connected we really all are!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Famine in Ethiopia

Here is a news report on the famine in Ethiopia from USAToday.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2008-08-17-ethiopia_N.htm

Some would view this and say, "Aren't we blessed." I see this and think, "we ought to be ashamed that our neighbors are starving and we are overweight." Today, I say a prayer and ask God, "What can I do to help others? What can I do to share with others in need? Who can I speak to to make sure people are not going without the basic necessity of food?" I am reminded of Jesus saying, "When you did it to the least of these, you did it to me. When you did not do it to the least of these, you did not do it to me."

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Let the Dossier Begin!

Well we have officially been approved into the Ethiopia Program and now we are gathering all the necessary paperwork for the dossier. This is the packet of documents which goes to the country. Needless to say, the list is LONG and exhausting. But, so far, we have been able to check off quite a few of the needed documents! This process makes it feel very real and like we are somewhat "pregnant!" without the morning sickness!
We are always amazed at the "underground network" of adopting parents out there. It seems that we have already been connected with so many people. Reminds us of what a small world it really is.
John and I decided to clarify our number of children and ages in which we will adopt. We have settled on siblings, one or two children, ages infant to three. We figure this will keep our hands full enough!
Everyone always wants to know, "So, when will it happen?" We aren't exactly sure, but in looking at other people's experiences and timelines, we are imagining that this time next year we will have our children at home or will be getting ready to fly over to get them. Pray for Summer '09 to hurry up and get here!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

This Week in the World of Adoption...

Yesterday we received our draft of our homestudy. This is the document that our social worker has been working on. It chronicles our life in great detail. This, once fine-tuned, gets turned over to our adoption agency and I think gets sent on to Ethiopia (along with many other papers). Now, we begin the I-600A form which is an immigration form. This begins our fingerprinting process. But is another huge step along the way.
We are probably a year away and where most expecting parents begin the shopping process for diapers and cribs, we can't do that quite yet. But, I did pick up two little stuffed animals and a soft photo album. These will be sent to our children once we accept the referral. A care package is sent to help the children transition a bit better. They ask us to send pictures of the family and home and clothes and stuffed animals. They will have these things with them in the orphanage and then be able to bring them home. They say that for babies, the smell will be an important way of transitioning them home. John already rubbed the stuffed animals on himself so they would smell like him. Don't know if those children know what they are in for! :)
We will let you know when our next step is complete!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

An Update

Well, we came through our home study with flying colors. Our social worker is in the process of writing things up for us so we can send that to our adoption agency. Once our agency approves it then it is time for the dossier documents which I think will be lots of paperwork and more government approval (fingerprints, immigration stuff). And once that set of paperwork is done and approved, it all gets sent to Ethiopia. They review our paperwork and make a match. Yea! Once we are matched with a child or with a sibling group then Ethiopia has to go through some court dates and obtain new birth certificates for the children. Then we travel. So, we are looking at a good year to make all of this happen!

Why siblings? John and I thought we would be able to adopt a sibling group. We felt like siblings are sometimes overlooked and do not get adopted because they do not split them up. So, we have said we would adopt a sibling group of no more than three children from age 0-5 years old.

So, we continue to wait for the next step and learn all we can and enjoy our sleep while we can!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Hunger in Ethiopia





To read more about Ethiopia and ways you can help make a difference, go to UNICEF! John and I have purchased Plumpy Nut! Plumpy Nut is a peanut butter substance which is providing nutrition to malnurished children!

Monday, June 30, 2008

And the Country Is...


Ethiopia!
We are thrilled to continuing our pursuit for being matched with our child or children in Ethiopia! Many have asked why we chose Ethiopia and our answer is not simple. One, we feel led to pursue the country. The time is a bit shorter, our children have the potential of being younger, the agency which we are working with has a great relationship with the orphanage and has a full-time doctor, nurse, and English teacher on staff. The children are well cared for and we feel that we would be able to provide a loving home for a child or siblings there. We look forward to sharing more information as we learn more and letting you know of our next steps.
Thanks for the support!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Which Country Will They Choose?

Well, the topic of conversation for us has been, "which country?" There is more that goes into choosing a country than we thought. We think we have decided but we will share that with you all when we are positive. We had a great conversation with our social worker at Nathanson this past Monday which helped us process some things. We talked a lot with him about parenting, attachment, and interracial parenting. So much to consider. We turned in part II of our application this week and we have completed all of our required hours of adoption education. That was very helpful! Every parent should go through some of that education before they have a child!
Thanks for all the support, prayers, and love! We will continue to keep you all posted.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Journey Toward International Adoption Has Begun

We are thrilled to have begun the process of international adoption. After a couple of years of struggle and ups and downs, we can't wait to meet our child or children who is/are out there somewhere.

We have our application for adoption with Children's Home Society and Family Services (CHSFS), an agency in MN. Currently we are working with Nathanson Adoption Services to complete our Homestudy. Once this is down and submitted to CHSFS then the work with the country begins.

It is a tedious process but with each step we get a little bit closer to our child.

Keep checking in on the latest news!

A Prayer to Guide Us Through This

Susan had lunch with a friend who shared this prayer with her:

Please infuse my being with your light--surround me with your love, that I may be lifted up and carried by your grace. Whisper into my thinking the inspiration that will help me through this. Help me be clear and calm. Embolden my heart with the courage to stay present and connected, for I know that in your presence lies my healing. I ask you to guide me-and everyone involved in this situation-every step of the way. Lift my spirit into a higher vibration that I may grow from this experience and become my greatest potential. Let there be a miracle. I am open and willing to have a miracle occur. Let the healer rise and take charge. I thank you in advance as I know that it is already so.