Our adoption agency has a forum group for all of us waiting folks to get online and chat about the process, forms, and the biggest discussion --WAITING! The latest has been that someone on the forum shared they had been working with another agency and they had waited about 2months for a referral. Well, all panic broke loose. Hundreds of waiting Ethiopian adoption people freaked out! How could our wait be 12 months if those people only waited 2 months? Should we switch to that agency? What should we do?
I have to admit that my first instinct (as I know that John and I just returned from having all of our dossier documents notarized (thanks Dianne) and they are ready to be authenticated by the Secretary of State and then sent to our agency for finalization) was to stop the process and find out how we could switch to an agency that could get us a child in a few months. I have had similar feelings this week as up here in Denver we have been without gas! Should I go to Mooresville to try to find gas? Do I have enough in my car to get me there? What should I do? Those of us who are going through adoption, you have to understand, feel very out of control. I have felt lately that I need something that I can control. I can't control the Department of Homeland Security to make sure they return our 171H form (which we got in the mail today!) and I can't control the Ethiopian government who may shut down court because power went out. I chopped all my hair off a few weeks ago. Why? Because I could control the length of my hair. So, we tend to freak out if we feel that there may be a way to control this process of adoption.
So...Here is what I decided. #1 Step away from the forum group. Way too much stress for me right now! #2 Nothing in the last two years has been in my hands and certainly the referral of our child is not in my hands. If it takes 12 months for God to match us with the child meant for us then let it be 12 months. Is it what we had planned? No! But I have a sneaky feeling it is what God has planned for us.
Now that I have come to this conclusion that no, we are not switching agencies and whether it is 2009 or 2010 when we come home with our child it will be the right time! And there is something very freeing in coming to that conclusion. Makes breathing a bit easier. And in the end all of this will just make us experts in waiting...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Just wanted you to know that I continue to keep you both in my prayers as you continue to wait. I enjoyed your musings on control in the adoption process and was struck by the realization that whenever we choose to have children we loose any control that we might have had in our lives (or think we had) - so this exercise will serve you well as parents!
Post a Comment