Not the one...

Well, we went through a week of waiting to hear if a birth mother chose us to be the adoptive parents. We weren't chosen. It is such a weird feeling. You don't know exactly what to do. Do you get excited and anticipate the phone call? Or do you prepare to hear the bad news? I guess I went back and forth going through both feelings. One day I was ready to get back to the nursery and get it ready in case we were told the baby was coming. But then I didn't want to get too excited knowing that I may have to be let down. And then I tried to prepare myself to accept the news. And when the news came from our consultant that the birth mom chose someone else, I was upset but quickly thought..."well, that just wasn't our baby."

So, another blow. But we keep going, waiting, and anticipating when that phone call will bring us the good news and we can buy a crib!

The Switch Has Been Made

John and I have decided to pull out of Ethiopia and switch to pursuing a domestic adoption. We made this decison based on a few things. One, the now two trips to Ethiopia is a huge issue. One can't just jump on a plane and travel an extra trip to Ethiopia without spending a lot of money doing it! But that wasn't the sole reason. We also just felt our heart moving away from adopting internationally and personally wanted to pursue an adoption closer to home.

We have chosen to go with an adoption consultant firm that will help us navigate the possibilities. Our profile will have the opportunity to be shared with lots of working agencies and lawyers, many in adoption-friendly states. Our homestudy is being changed (once again) and that puts us even a few more steps ahead and ready. We also have chosen to be able to accept a baby-on-the-ground which means a baby who is born and needs us to get on a plane and go in 24 hours to pick him/her up.

We feel good about this decision. Money aside, this decision seems to fit us well. So, we are now in a different gear. A gear that could mean we get matched quickly. Time to get that crib and some diapers. And time to get serious about name possibilities.

And the Hits Just Keep On Coming

Yes, the rumors appear to be true. Two trips to Ethiopia will be required! We are possibly one or two months away from getting a referral and now we have been hit with two trips to Ethiopia. What does this mean? Well, it triggers all kinds of things. One, it means A LOT MORE MONEY. Flights to Ethiopia are not cheap. John and I talked and even if one parent can go on the last trip, we both want to go both times. So two flights to Ethiopia two times is much more money. And it means more time off. We are both working and taking another week and a half to travel means less time when the baby comes home. Two, it raises some flags about the program. Other countries that begin setting up more regulations begin to close down. So there is that concern.

What do we do? We have no idea. When we hear this news we want to react to it and try to find alternatives. "Maybe we can revisit domestic adoption" or "Let's find out how much of our money get refunded if we pull out of Ethiopia" Basically we are again paralyzed with decision making!

Ughhhh! Our agency is holding a conference call on the 25th to hopefully give us some kind of guidance and more information as to this new step in the process.

It's not If, but When...

It isn't IF but WHEN...the when may be getting close...

John and I communicated with our specialist at our agency this week. Seems like we may 3-5 months away from a referral!!! Yea! Actually, 3-5 months is nothing compared to waiting almost 2 years. We can do 3-5 months with our eyes closed! Of course, after the referral we will have to wait an additional 4 months before we travel, but at least we will have a face to our dream!
So, to keep busy, this weekend, baby furniture gets painted! Time to get cracking!

We may be in the homestretch! I don't know if I will believe it until we are home with our baby and someone pinches me! But I'm going to stay hopeful!

One year...One week...

We have passed the one year of waiting mark. We get to re-do some of our homestudy and after that...there is Nothing left to do.

As of today, I don't even really have any thoughts. My emotions are neither mad or anxious. I'm just kinda on pause.

Maybe One year...Two weeks will be better...

It's October! Our One Year Wait-aversary!

October is my favorite month. Ok, put aside the fact that it is my birthday month...October brings cooler weather and colors everywhere! I love having my front porch lit up with mums and pumpkins!

And this October...October 14th, to be exact, is our one year wait-aversary! We will be celebrating one year of successfully waiting for a referral. Hard to believe that a year has gone. I know that this time last year I went through the calendar and wrote on the 14th of each month, "8 months to go" and "6 months to go."

And alas, just when we thought we would be getting a call from our agency with the name of our baby, looks like I have to keep writing on the calendar, "9 more months to go..."

Here's hoping that the pages of the calendar fly by and the beauty of the season will keep us preoccupied with things other than waiting.

The Beauty of Ethiopia