What a Journey

Here I sit...four weeks after we finally found our baby girl! It has been an amazing story, a whirlwind, and a testimony to the kindness of strangers, the ultimate gift-giving, and a family now begun.

It was Wednesday, April 14th. We got an email, late in the afternoon, with a possible situation. A birthfamily was in Florida and were looking for a family to adopt their baby girl. We had to make a decision as to whether we wanted to be considered in less than an hour. The profile of the family looked good. The baby was, at that time, scheduled to be born the following Monday (April 19). We still had time to get some clothes, pack the car, get some work finished, and drive down to Boca Raton. We said yes.

Thursday, April 15th, we had to get our updated homestudy, a copy of our profile, and paperwork for the lawyer in Florida ready to be overnighted. Thank goodness our homestudy had just been completed. The lawyer wanted our paperwork by 10am on Friday in order to be considered as the adoptive family.

Friday, April 16th, lawyer's office called and started telling me what all kind of paperwork I needed...I stopped her and said, "Wait, does this mean we are the parents chosen? We are having a baby?" She said, "Yes, this is happening!" But there was still much to be done. Our fingerprints had been sent to the FBI in West Virginia two weeks prior. They had to get to Florida in order for us to clear and leave the state. But they couldn't find them. I drive to Charlotte to get John to sign some papers and meet my mom to go do some shopping. While in Charlotte we got the call...the birthmother's water had broken. We needed to get to Florida ASAP because the birthmother wanted to meet us (with the intention she would not place the baby until meeting us). John and I started freaking out..trying to get fingerprints, going to uptown Charlotte to try to re-do them. Then just leaving for FL hoping it would all work out. We left our home at 9PM and drove all night.

Saturday, April 17th...baby is born at 1:07AM

Saturday, April 17th, we arrive at West Boca Medical Center at 10AM and immediately meet the birthparents and our baby girl! We were filled with all kinds of emotions...excitement, shock, exhaustion, and anxiety. The birthparents were great and love our little girl. We were so glad we were able to spend time with them. We gave the birthmother a gift of a butterfly windchime. I told her whenever she heard the chime to think of us and our baby because we would be thinking of them. We got to hold our baby girl and thought she was the most beautiful baby ever! We then left and were able to meet up with the birthfamily for lunch later that day. Again, this was cherished time. We will tell our baby girl how fortunate she was to have such love bring her into this world. Saturday night, John and I got to our hotel and crashed with feelings of deep joy.

Sunday, April 18th, we went to breakfast with cell phone in hand. This was the morning the birthparents were signing legal papers placing their child with us. We waited two hours before we got a call from the lawyer. The BPs were having difficulty signing. They needed to hear from us that we would send pictures and updates. We got on the phone and reassured the BPs that we would tell our daughter about them and send them pictures often. Another hour and a half went. John and I are sitting at a Starbucks when the call came, "Congratulations, Mom!" We were thrilled. We headed to the hospital thinking our daughter may be discharged, but instead spent some time feeding her and having a last day of rest before picking her up on Monday.

Monday, April 19th, since our fingerprints are still lost in the pile at the FBI, we had to go to the Boca Raton police department to get them reprinted and overnighted to the FBI. The Boca police were gracious and kind and didn't charge us (just one of many small blessings along the way). We then went to the hospital to pick up our daughter. Suddenly the whirlwind stopped and we realized we were indeed parents. We headed to FedEx to send off paperwork and then to our temporary home at Embassy Suites. Embassy Suites could not have been a better first home and first family. They discounted our room for us and helped us celebrate our family.

Over the next several days paperwork began to move to and from West Virginia to Florida to North Carolina. And though we were in Florida for 12 days we had valuable time together as a family. On April 28th we were at breakfast in the hotel lobby (where we had eaten the last 11 days) and got the call we were cleared to leave FL! We jumped and loaded the car and drove all day to get home. Our baby girl slept the entire way!

April 28th, 10:30PM Home at Last

And today we celebrate our baby's one month birthday! Amazing.
I look back on the last few years and wonder how we got through hurdle after hurdle and dissapointment after dissapointment. I assume it is grace...yes, I am sure it is grace. And it is grace that I am now experiencing when my baby girl looks at me. That grace...it is amazing!

Not the one...

Well, we went through a week of waiting to hear if a birth mother chose us to be the adoptive parents. We weren't chosen. It is such a weird feeling. You don't know exactly what to do. Do you get excited and anticipate the phone call? Or do you prepare to hear the bad news? I guess I went back and forth going through both feelings. One day I was ready to get back to the nursery and get it ready in case we were told the baby was coming. But then I didn't want to get too excited knowing that I may have to be let down. And then I tried to prepare myself to accept the news. And when the news came from our consultant that the birth mom chose someone else, I was upset but quickly thought..."well, that just wasn't our baby."

So, another blow. But we keep going, waiting, and anticipating when that phone call will bring us the good news and we can buy a crib!

The Switch Has Been Made

John and I have decided to pull out of Ethiopia and switch to pursuing a domestic adoption. We made this decison based on a few things. One, the now two trips to Ethiopia is a huge issue. One can't just jump on a plane and travel an extra trip to Ethiopia without spending a lot of money doing it! But that wasn't the sole reason. We also just felt our heart moving away from adopting internationally and personally wanted to pursue an adoption closer to home.

We have chosen to go with an adoption consultant firm that will help us navigate the possibilities. Our profile will have the opportunity to be shared with lots of working agencies and lawyers, many in adoption-friendly states. Our homestudy is being changed (once again) and that puts us even a few more steps ahead and ready. We also have chosen to be able to accept a baby-on-the-ground which means a baby who is born and needs us to get on a plane and go in 24 hours to pick him/her up.

We feel good about this decision. Money aside, this decision seems to fit us well. So, we are now in a different gear. A gear that could mean we get matched quickly. Time to get that crib and some diapers. And time to get serious about name possibilities.

And the Hits Just Keep On Coming

Yes, the rumors appear to be true. Two trips to Ethiopia will be required! We are possibly one or two months away from getting a referral and now we have been hit with two trips to Ethiopia. What does this mean? Well, it triggers all kinds of things. One, it means A LOT MORE MONEY. Flights to Ethiopia are not cheap. John and I talked and even if one parent can go on the last trip, we both want to go both times. So two flights to Ethiopia two times is much more money. And it means more time off. We are both working and taking another week and a half to travel means less time when the baby comes home. Two, it raises some flags about the program. Other countries that begin setting up more regulations begin to close down. So there is that concern.

What do we do? We have no idea. When we hear this news we want to react to it and try to find alternatives. "Maybe we can revisit domestic adoption" or "Let's find out how much of our money get refunded if we pull out of Ethiopia" Basically we are again paralyzed with decision making!

Ughhhh! Our agency is holding a conference call on the 25th to hopefully give us some kind of guidance and more information as to this new step in the process.

It's not If, but When...

It isn't IF but WHEN...the when may be getting close...

John and I communicated with our specialist at our agency this week. Seems like we may 3-5 months away from a referral!!! Yea! Actually, 3-5 months is nothing compared to waiting almost 2 years. We can do 3-5 months with our eyes closed! Of course, after the referral we will have to wait an additional 4 months before we travel, but at least we will have a face to our dream!
So, to keep busy, this weekend, baby furniture gets painted! Time to get cracking!

We may be in the homestretch! I don't know if I will believe it until we are home with our baby and someone pinches me! But I'm going to stay hopeful!

One year...One week...

We have passed the one year of waiting mark. We get to re-do some of our homestudy and after that...there is Nothing left to do.

As of today, I don't even really have any thoughts. My emotions are neither mad or anxious. I'm just kinda on pause.

Maybe One year...Two weeks will be better...

It's October! Our One Year Wait-aversary!

October is my favorite month. Ok, put aside the fact that it is my birthday month...October brings cooler weather and colors everywhere! I love having my front porch lit up with mums and pumpkins!

And this October...October 14th, to be exact, is our one year wait-aversary! We will be celebrating one year of successfully waiting for a referral. Hard to believe that a year has gone. I know that this time last year I went through the calendar and wrote on the 14th of each month, "8 months to go" and "6 months to go."

And alas, just when we thought we would be getting a call from our agency with the name of our baby, looks like I have to keep writing on the calendar, "9 more months to go..."

Here's hoping that the pages of the calendar fly by and the beauty of the season will keep us preoccupied with things other than waiting.