John and Susan's Journey to Find Their Child

What a Journey

2010-05-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

Here I sit...four weeks after we finally found our baby girl! It has been an amazing story, a whirlwind, and a testimony to the kindness of strangers, the ultimate gift-giving, and a family now begun.

It was Wednesday, April 14th. We got an email, late in the afternoon, with a possible situation. A birthfamily was in Florida and were looking for a family to adopt their baby girl. We had to make a decision as to whether we wanted to be considered in less than an hour. The profile of the family looked good. The baby was, at that time, scheduled to be born the following Monday (April 19). We still had time to get some clothes, pack the car, get some work finished, and drive down to Boca Raton. We said yes.

Thursday, April 15th, we had to get our updated homestudy, a copy of our profile, and paperwork for the lawyer in Florida ready to be overnighted. Thank goodness our homestudy had just been completed. The lawyer wanted our paperwork by 10am on Friday in order to be considered as the adoptive family.

Friday, April 16th, lawyer's office called and started telling me what all kind of paperwork I needed...I stopped her and said, "Wait, does this mean we are the parents chosen? We are having a baby?" She said, "Yes, this is happening!" But there was still much to be done. Our fingerprints had been sent to the FBI in West Virginia two weeks prior. They had to get to Florida in order for us to clear and leave the state. But they couldn't find them. I drive to Charlotte to get John to sign some papers and meet my mom to go do some shopping. While in Charlotte we got the call...the birthmother's water had broken. We needed to get to Florida ASAP because the birthmother wanted to meet us (with the intention she would not place the baby until meeting us). John and I started freaking out..trying to get fingerprints, going to uptown Charlotte to try to re-do them. Then just leaving for FL hoping it would all work out. We left our home at 9PM and drove all night.

Saturday, April 17th...baby is born at 1:07AM

Saturday, April 17th, we arrive at West Boca Medical Center at 10AM and immediately meet the birthparents and our baby girl! We were filled with all kinds of emotions...excitement, shock, exhaustion, and anxiety. The birthparents were great and love our little girl. We were so glad we were able to spend time with them. We gave the birthmother a gift of a butterfly windchime. I told her whenever she heard the chime to think of us and our baby because we would be thinking of them. We got to hold our baby girl and thought she was the most beautiful baby ever! We then left and were able to meet up with the birthfamily for lunch later that day. Again, this was cherished time. We will tell our baby girl how fortunate she was to have such love bring her into this world. Saturday night, John and I got to our hotel and crashed with feelings of deep joy.

Sunday, April 18th, we went to breakfast with cell phone in hand. This was the morning the birthparents were signing legal papers placing their child with us. We waited two hours before we got a call from the lawyer. The BPs were having difficulty signing. They needed to hear from us that we would send pictures and updates. We got on the phone and reassured the BPs that we would tell our daughter about them and send them pictures often. Another hour and a half went. John and I are sitting at a Starbucks when the call came, "Congratulations, Mom!" We were thrilled. We headed to the hospital thinking our daughter may be discharged, but instead spent some time feeding her and having a last day of rest before picking her up on Monday.

Monday, April 19th, since our fingerprints are still lost in the pile at the FBI, we had to go to the Boca Raton police department to get them reprinted and overnighted to the FBI. The Boca police were gracious and kind and didn't charge us (just one of many small blessings along the way). We then went to the hospital to pick up our daughter. Suddenly the whirlwind stopped and we realized we were indeed parents. We headed to FedEx to send off paperwork and then to our temporary home at Embassy Suites. Embassy Suites could not have been a better first home and first family. They discounted our room for us and helped us celebrate our family.

Over the next several days paperwork began to move to and from West Virginia to Florida to North Carolina. And though we were in Florida for 12 days we had valuable time together as a family. On April 28th we were at breakfast in the hotel lobby (where we had eaten the last 11 days) and got the call we were cleared to leave FL! We jumped and loaded the car and drove all day to get home. Our baby girl slept the entire way!

April 28th, 10:30PM Home at Last

And today we celebrate our baby's one month birthday! Amazing.
I look back on the last few years and wonder how we got through hurdle after hurdle and dissapointment after dissapointment. I assume it is grace...yes, I am sure it is grace. And it is grace that I am now experiencing when my baby girl looks at me. That grace...it is amazing!

Not the one...

2010-04-10T15:51:00.000-07:00

Well, we went through a week of waiting to hear if a birth mother chose us to be the adoptive parents. We weren't chosen. It is such a weird feeling. You don't know exactly what to do. Do you get excited and anticipate the phone call? Or do you prepare to hear the bad news? I guess I went back and forth going through both feelings. One day I was ready to get back to the nursery and get it ready in case we were told the baby was coming. But then I didn't want to get too excited knowing that I may have to be let down. And then I tried to prepare myself to accept the news. And when the news came from our consultant that the birth mom chose someone else, I was upset but quickly thought..."well, that just wasn't our baby."

So, another blow. But we keep going, waiting, and anticipating when that phone call will bring us the good news and we can buy a crib!

The Switch Has Been Made

2010-03-25T06:37:00.000-07:00

John and I have decided to pull out of Ethiopia and switch to pursuing a domestic adoption. We made this decison based on a few things. One, the now two trips to Ethiopia is a huge issue. One can't just jump on a plane and travel an extra trip to Ethiopia without spending a lot of money doing it! But that wasn't the sole reason. We also just felt our heart moving away from adopting internationally and personally wanted to pursue an adoption closer to home.

We have chosen to go with an adoption consultant firm that will help us navigate the possibilities. Our profile will have the opportunity to be shared with lots of working agencies and lawyers, many in adoption-friendly states. Our homestudy is being changed (once again) and that puts us even a few more steps ahead and ready. We also have chosen to be able to accept a baby-on-the-ground which means a baby who is born and needs us to get on a plane and go in 24 hours to pick him/her up.

We feel good about this decision. Money aside, this decision seems to fit us well. So, we are now in a different gear. A gear that could mean we get matched quickly. Time to get that crib and some diapers. And time to get serious about name possibilities.

And the Hits Just Keep On Coming

2010-03-15T06:42:00.001-07:00

Yes, the rumors appear to be true. Two trips to Ethiopia will be required! We are possibly one or two months away from getting a referral and now we have been hit with two trips to Ethiopia. What does this mean? Well, it triggers all kinds of things. One, it means A LOT MORE MONEY. Flights to Ethiopia are not cheap. John and I talked and even if one parent can go on the last trip, we both want to go both times. So two flights to Ethiopia two times is much more money. And it means more time off. We are both working and taking another week and a half to travel means less time when the baby comes home. Two, it raises some flags about the program. Other countries that begin setting up more regulations begin to close down. So there is that concern.

What do we do? We have no idea. When we hear this news we want to react to it and try to find alternatives. "Maybe we can revisit domestic adoption" or "Let's find out how much of our money get refunded if we pull out of Ethiopia" Basically we are again paralyzed with decision making!

Ughhhh! Our agency is holding a conference call on the 25th to hopefully give us some kind of guidance and more information as to this new step in the process.

It's not If, but When...

2010-01-14T07:37:00.000-08:00

It isn't IF but WHEN...the when may be getting close...

John and I communicated with our specialist at our agency this week. Seems like we may 3-5 months away from a referral!!! Yea! Actually, 3-5 months is nothing compared to waiting almost 2 years. We can do 3-5 months with our eyes closed! Of course, after the referral we will have to wait an additional 4 months before we travel, but at least we will have a face to our dream!
So, to keep busy, this weekend, baby furniture gets painted! Time to get cracking!

We may be in the homestretch! I don't know if I will believe it until we are home with our baby and someone pinches me! But I'm going to stay hopeful!

One year...One week...

2009-10-21T15:13:00.001-07:00

We have passed the one year of waiting mark. We get to re-do some of our homestudy and after that...there is Nothing left to do.

As of today, I don't even really have any thoughts. My emotions are neither mad or anxious. I'm just kinda on pause.

Maybe One year...Two weeks will be better...

It's October! Our One Year Wait-aversary!

2009-10-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

October is my favorite month. Ok, put aside the fact that it is my birthday month...October brings cooler weather and colors everywhere! I love having my front porch lit up with mums and pumpkins!

And this October...October 14th, to be exact, is our one year wait-aversary! We will be celebrating one year of successfully waiting for a referral. Hard to believe that a year has gone. I know that this time last year I went through the calendar and wrote on the 14th of each month, "8 months to go" and "6 months to go."

And alas, just when we thought we would be getting a call from our agency with the name of our baby, looks like I have to keep writing on the calendar, "9 more months to go..."

Here's hoping that the pages of the calendar fly by and the beauty of the season will keep us preoccupied with things other than waiting.

The Beauty of Ethiopia

2009-09-15T06:26:00.001-07:00

Enter Stage "It's Just Not Fair"

2009-08-26T05:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I entered the stage "It's Just Not Fair" as we continue to wait. I had briefly reviewed this stage in past months, but last night I settled into it. As we approach October, the month we "should" be hearing about a referral, we realize it will probably be FEBRUARY before we get a phone call (which means more like JUNE before we come home with our baby). It's just not fair! And, we have to probably have our whole entire homestudy redone because of waiting, red tape, bureaucracy. It's just not fair.

As someone who has a heart for justice, it has been difficult feeling like this whole thing is unjust. Our hands are tied. We can do no more than what we are doing. So, I am an elephant! Female elephants are pregnant for about 22 months...two years. That's us. I have been pregnant for almost one year. One year down, one more to go! How do elephants do it? Do they think, "this just isn't fair?" What about the biological mother and father of our future baby? Do they think, "It's just not fair" because they do not have the resources to care for the child they love? What about those women or couples who are not able to biologically have a baby and do not have the financial resources to go through IVF or adopt. Are they crying out, "It's just not fair?"

I know, I know..."Life isn't fair." I get it. But right now, I just need to sit in this stage and maybe connect with all the other voices out there who are crying the same mantra.

Our Child Will Be Surrounded by Homeland Faces

2009-07-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

John and I just moved. We are now living in Huntersville...the south side of Lake Norman. But I am working in Davidson. We love both Huntersville and Davidson. Any adopted family, and I guess especially adopted parents of international children or children of a minority race or ethnicity, worry about their child "fitting in." John and I have talked about raising our child from Ethiopia -- the joys and the challenges. At some level, we will never be able to identify with our child, culturally and ethnically.

That is why when we moved and instantly became connected (loosely connected right now) with four families who have adopted children from Ethiopia we were thrilled. Even at my church (where I work) there is about to be an adoption support group and there are families with Ethiopian children who are members. We are amazed.

All I keep thinking is how awesome it will be for our child to see other children who like like him/her. They will see other Ethiopian children with Caucasian/American parents and they will not feel so isolated and alone.

We give thanks that we are in a place where others before us have helped pave a way for us. What a joy it is!

This Time Next Year...

2009-07-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

I've found myself saying this a lot..."This time next year we will have the baby here." Or "This time next year we will have to re-think our vacation." Or "This time next year we will have to find a childcare center." Or "This time next year we will be wishing we had Saturday mornings to sleep in." Some say you can't think too much into the future because it is unknown and something we have no control over. But right now, while we wait for the months to turn the only thing that helps with the wait is to think about this time next year.
I listened in on the monthly webinar our agency hosts. We were reminded that the current wait time is 12-15 months. So hopefully, this time 5 months from now we will have received a call. But it very well could be this time 7 months from now we will be waiting for the call. I wonder if the birth mother of our child is thinking and feeling the same thing? Maybe she is saying, "This time nine months from now I have to make a decision on what to do with this baby." Or maybe she and her husband are thinking, "Maybe this time nine months from now we will have the money it takes to support this baby."
Pondering the future can be hopeful or just a giant tail chase. In the end, we just don't know. But I'm going to chose to cling to the hope of this time a year from now we will be celebrating the summer with our Baby Heun and giving thanks to the parents who had to endure a wait of their own.

Ok, God...Just So We are Clear...We've Got the Patience Lesson...What's Next?

2009-06-03T05:46:00.001-07:00

John and I participated in a webinar last night with CHSFS (our adoption agency). Many in the Ethiopia program are curious about what is taking so long, why the delays, and wanted a forum to ask questions.

Looks like the current wait time is 12-18 months. The best thing to tell all of you is that we have no idea when we will be getting a call with a referral.
October? December? March 2010? We don't know. But I am hoping that 14 months will be our mark which would mean we won't end 2009 without a phone call from our specialist.

My conversation with God has been: Ok, God. I think we have learned the lesson on patience. We can move on to something else now!

We will covet your prayers as we continue to wait for our child to be matched with us!

The Latest Statistics for Us Waiters

2009-04-24T05:56:00.001-07:00

Well, Here is the latest look of statistics from our Adoption Agency.
Here is an update about what families are currently experiencing:

- 24 families received a referral in the month of March. So far in April, 12 families have accepted referrals for 15 children.

- the wait time estimate for a single child continues to be 12-18 months from dossier submission. Currently families are receiving a referral of a single child approximately 13 months after submitting a dossier.

- of the families who received a referral of a single child in March/early April, one family waited 13 months and 1 week, while another family waited about 11 months.

- families “at the top of the list” for a referral submitted their dossier in March 2008

- court date assignments that we received at the end of March were for a date approximately 8 weeks after a family accepted their referral; which is a positive change from the 12 week time frame we had previously been seeing. Hopefully this will continue to be the pattern.

-at this time we continue to see families traveling to Ethiopia about 16 weeks after they accept a referral.

On a related note, CHSFS Ethiopia has finally received all of the necessary documents and permissions needed in order to begin referring children from Bethel Orphanage in Nazret, Oromiya! A few children have already been matched with CHSFS families and we hope to be placing more children from there soon.

Maybe it will be October when we get a call afterall! Keep the Faith!

May Now Be Looking at DECEMBER???!!!!

2009-03-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I got the latest newsletter from our agency and we were told that due to a huge number of applications last late summer to fall, we may be looking at 14 months of total waiting. I have to say that I am heartbroken. What is two more months? It is two more months of going with no control over anything, two more months of waiting for a name then waiting three months to travel, two more months of not having a child. Two more months which leaves me asking, "Did we make the right decision?" "Maybe we should have done domestic adoption." "Maybe we should have gone with another agency." "Maybe we should have gone with another country." Two months, when we have been waiting for so long, feels like a life-time!
But what choice do we have? We wait. And pray that God will maybe speed up time or work with the system to get more needed orphans homes of love!

Is the Dance in You?

2009-02-02T11:26:00.001-08:00

One Tree

2009-02-02T08:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Ganna! Christmas in Ethiopia is TODAY!

2009-01-07T11:36:00.000-08:00

The Ethiopian Christmas, known locally as Ganna after a hockey-like game the shepherds played when Jesus was born, usually falls on the old Julian calendar date of 7 January. The celebration has a gently festive air, especially on Christmas Eve in Addis, where people gather to eat, drink and dance.

Christmas is generally not that important in Ethiopia. This is partly because Orthodox Christianity is more centred around Mary than Christ, but most importantly because death is considered more significant than birth, hence Easter is a much larger religious occasion than Christmas. Only very dedicated Christians fast before Christmas, whereas almost all fast before Easter. Many people follow the Ethiopian Orthodox Christian approach. On Christmas Eve, a religious ceremony takes place in all Orthodox Christian churches throughout the Ethiopian highlands. The ceremonies are long and involve the whole congregation. Priests dance sedately, swaying side to side in time with their sistrums (percussion instruments), while young men dance around a drummer, leaping and jumping, achieving an almost trance-like state. The ceremony begins sedately and builds up through the night into a crescendo, the music from the church being heard far and wide until the early hours of the morning. In most towns, Christmas Day itself is largely a family affair, with the occasional game of Ganna being played in the afternoon.
An invitation to a family Christmas is the best way to enjoy the day. If you're lucky enough to be invited, be prepared to eat a feast of delicious specialities and drink homebrew until late in the day.The place to really experience a traditional Ganna is in Lalibela, which was built as Ethiopia's own Jerusalem by King Lalibela in the 12th century. There is therefore a particularly strong connection with Christ here, and pilgrims travel for days to attend colourful ceremonies in all of the 13 rock-hewn churches nested in the hillside. After church though, if possible, buy a goat or some tej (honey wine) and pay a visit to the adopted family you've found!

Christmas Traditions in EthiopiaEthiopia is one of the oldest nations in Africa. It still follows the ancient Julian calendar, so Ethiopians celebrate Christmas on January 7. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church's celebration of Christ's birth is called Ganna. It is a day when families attend church.
On January 19, Ethiopians begin the three-day celebration called Timkat.The day before Ganna, people fast all day. The next morning at dawn, everyone dresses in white. Most Ethiopians don a traditional shamma, a thin, white cotton wrap with brightly colored stripes across the ends. The shamma is worn somewhat like a toga. Urban Ethiopians might put on white Western garb. Then everyone goes to the early mass at four o'clock in the morning. In a celebration that takes place several days later, the priests will dress in turbans and red and white robes as they carry beautifully embroidered fringed umbrellas.
Most Ethiopians who live outside the modern capital city, Addis Ababa, live in round mud-plastered houses with cone-shaped roofs of thatched straw. In areas where stone is plentiful, the houses may be rectangular stone houses. The churches in Ethiopia echo the shape of the houses. In many parts of the country there are ancient churches carved out of solid volcanic rock. Modern churches are built in three concentric circles.In a modern church, the choir assembles in the outer circle. Each person entering the church is given a candle. The congregation walks around the church three times in a solemn procession, holding the flickering candles. Then they gather in the second circle to stand throughout the long mass, with the men and boys separated from the women and girls. The center circle is the holiest space in the church, where the priest serves Holy Communion.

A Blessing

2008-12-23T13:17:00.000-08:00

This was a blessing used at a friend's ordination service. I share it with all of you!

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. May the peace of God and the God of peace be with you forevermore. AMEN.

Advent...the season of waiting

2008-12-18T14:24:00.001-08:00

Happy Waiting to all!

I Need Africa More Than Africa Needs Me

2008-12-04T11:24:00.000-08:00

Here is a great video from YouTube!

Transracial Adoption

2008-11-30T15:34:00.000-08:00

I have found many people to be curious about what life will be like for our child and family. People are curious especially since we are adopting a child of color. We know it will not be easy, but we are doing as much as we can to educate ourselves and those closest to us. We just had Thanksgiving with a family member who had adopted children. It was such a blessing to see a family full of love and no one seeming to notice children who were ethnically different than their parents. In the end, we know that grace will transcend our outer differences and bind us together as one family.
Here is the "Transracial Adopted Children's Bill of Rights:"

* Every child is entitled to love and full membership in his or her family.
*Every child is entitled to have his or her heritage and culture embraced and valued.
* Every child is entitled to parents who value individuality and enjoy complexity.
* Every child is entitled to parents who understand that this is a race conscious society.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know their child will experience life in ways differently from theirs.
* Every child is entitled to parents who are not seeking to "save" a child or to make the world a better place by adopting.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know belonging to a family is not based on physical matching.
* Every child is entitled to parents who have significant relationships with people of other races.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know transracial adoption changes the family structure forever.
* Every child is entitled to be accepted by his or her extended family members.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know that if they are white they experience the benefits of racism because the country's system is organized that way.
* Every child is entitled to parents who know they cannot be the sole transmitter of the child's culture when it is not their own.
* Every child is entitled to grow up with items in their home environment created for and by people of their own race or ethnicity.
* Every child is entitled to have places available to make friends with people of his or her race or ethnicity.
* Every child is entitled to have opportunities in his or her environment to participate in positive experiences with his or her birth culture.
* Every child is entitled to opportunities to build racial pride within his or her own home, school, and neighborhood.

2008-11-18T08:09:00.000-08:00

What to do while waiting for a baby?

Bike 17 miles down a mountain in Virginia!

One Month Down

2008-11-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

Well, as of today, we have been officially waiting for one month! That means we are one month down and eleven more to go! We made it thus far and figure another eleven months will be a breeze!

How do you Support an Adoptive Parent?

2008-10-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize that most people don't really know what to do with adoptive parents. It isn't their fault. We really don't do a lot to publicize adoption and therefore, we don't know what to do. With pregnancy we can get excited as we see a belly grow or celebrate an ultrasound picture. Adoptive parents don't have that. They have big words like Dossier and Homestudy and I600A forms. Don't see too many greeting cards for "Congrats on getting that Dossier done!" So, this past week, I've had several things happen to John and me that have been supportive of our adoption:
*John's parents sent us baby stuff! We got burp cloths and a blanket and a stuffed bear that plays "Jesus loves me!" It was a sign that they are getting excited too!
*One of our churches (Susan is a pastor of two United Methodist congregations) gave a gift to Susan and John in honor of Pastor Appreciation month. It was a gift to Africa Famine Relief in their name. This was a great gift which said, "Hey, we celebrate your adopting from Africa and we want to be a part of the process! Meant the world!!!!
*Susan and John got a cartoon from Susan's mom that showed two kangaroos coming up to another kangaroo. In the pouch of one it held a giraffe and the kangaroos said, "We've adopted!" Not only was this funny, but it was a sign of support and encouragement!
*A church member came up to Susan and talked about her experience of a neighbor who had adopted from Eastern Europe. It was her way of starting the conversation and made Susan feel like her adoption was important.
*Susan's parents went with her to look at cribs and strollers. Even though we have a ways to go, there is a need to nest. This helped validate the need to nest and prepare!

So, if you know of someone who is adopting and are wondering what to do...it's the little things that can matter. Ask the couple what is going on in their process. Talk with them about it. Have the couple share their story. Learn all you can about the country and make a gift to help relieve suffering in that region. Know that even though a belly isn't getting bigger and it may be a long wait, pregnancy is happening!

Continued thanks for the support! 11 months to go!

It's Official!

2008-10-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

We are now Officially Waiting! Though it may seem like a technicality of wording, this is a very big deal. This means our agency received all of our dossier paperwork and all was in order. They are now sending things to the Ethiopian Embassy and on to the Ethiopians to await our match with an infant 0-12 months (or twins if they happen to have any, who knows?).

What a relief. Though we have about 12 months of wait time, we have lots to do. Work, work, work and start a nursery list, maybe begin decorating and gathering travel stuff (you have to take just about everything when you go get a baby in a 3rd world country. That should keep us busy for a while. We won't have much to share over the next few months, but will fill you in as often as we can and update you on what life of waiting is like for us! In the meantime...Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future and into a family!

What are our plans? We hope to do some traveling (talked about Alaska --moose!) and live the single life while we are able. And pray that we are able to actually handle this parenting thing that we have worked so hard to obtain!

Experts in Waiting

2008-10-01T17:57:00.000-07:00

Our adoption agency has a forum group for all of us waiting folks to get online and chat about the process, forms, and the biggest discussion --WAITING! The latest has been that someone on the forum shared they had been working with another agency and they had waited about 2months for a referral. Well, all panic broke loose. Hundreds of waiting Ethiopian adoption people freaked out! How could our wait be 12 months if those people only waited 2 months? Should we switch to that agency? What should we do?
I have to admit that my first instinct (as I know that John and I just returned from having all of our dossier documents notarized (thanks Dianne) and they are ready to be authenticated by the Secretary of State and then sent to our agency for finalization) was to stop the process and find out how we could switch to an agency that could get us a child in a few months. I have had similar feelings this week as up here in Denver we have been without gas! Should I go to Mooresville to try to find gas? Do I have enough in my car to get me there? What should I do? Those of us who are going through adoption, you have to understand, feel very out of control. I have felt lately that I need something that I can control. I can't control the Department of Homeland Security to make sure they return our 171H form (which we got in the mail today!) and I can't control the Ethiopian government who may shut down court because power went out. I chopped all my hair off a few weeks ago. Why? Because I could control the length of my hair. So, we tend to freak out if we feel that there may be a way to control this process of adoption.
So...Here is what I decided. #1 Step away from the forum group. Way too much stress for me right now! #2 Nothing in the last two years has been in my hands and certainly the referral of our child is not in my hands. If it takes 12 months for God to match us with the child meant for us then let it be 12 months. Is it what we had planned? No! But I have a sneaky feeling it is what God has planned for us.
Now that I have come to this conclusion that no, we are not switching agencies and whether it is 2009 or 2010 when we come home with our child it will be the right time! And there is something very freeing in coming to that conclusion. Makes breathing a bit easier. And in the end all of this will just make us experts in waiting...

United Methodists Reach Out to Ethiopia

2008-09-17T15:16:00.001-07:00

The United Methodist Church has a way to respond to situations all over the world. The General Board of Global Ministries' outreach center is called UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief). UMCOR is able to receive money for individual projects and situations through The Advance. All money given to the Advance #, 100% goes directly to the project. Here is the latest from UMCOR:

ETHIOPIA: DROUGHT RELIEF
A severe drought in southern Ethiopia is robbing the people of their lives, livelihoods, and their future. The cattle are dying. For the Borana people cattle are the center of their lives. They provide food, income, and a dowry. Without cattle the practical and social aspects of life are gone.
UMCOR is partnering with ACT International member agency, Christian Aid to providing food, water and work so the Borana can restore their lives.
Give to All Africa Famine Relief, UMCOR Advance #101259, All Africa Famine Relief, to restore the lives of the Borana and many others who suffer from drought and famine in Africa.

You can give by mail:
Make your check to UMCOR and mail to UMCOR
PO Box 9068, New York, NY 10087

Or by going online to:
http://new.gbgm-umc.org/umcor/

Dossier Just About Done

2008-09-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

Our dossier documents are just about all gathered. Wow! What a long list of things we have to gather to send to the agency and then to Ethiopia! We get more and more excited as each stage is complete. We had to go get fingerprinted in Charlotte which was yet another process down! So, once we get our documents complete (waiting on the Lincoln County Sheriff's Department), we get them all notarized and then send three of them to the Secretary of the State to be authenticated! Then we send to our agency and to Ethiopia and we wait for a referral. Referral times vary but it could be 9 months before we hear anything.
Let the waiting begin (continue)...

Quote of the Week

2008-09-02T08:37:00.001-07:00

"Adoption is the visible Gospel!"
--John Piper

Prayers for the Death of our Baby Boy

2008-08-31T15:17:00.000-07:00

Well, we got a sad phone call yesterday. The minister who had been working with us and with the birth mother called to let us know the birth mother's water broke yesterday and the baby died. It was due to an infection and nothing could be done. The baby was a boy. Our hearts are sad --not only for us for for the birth mother too. John and I are refusing to let this get us down and so we are continuing with the Ethiopian adoption. Keep the birth mother and us in your prayers as we keep moving forward.

And the Lesson is...

2008-08-27T10:33:00.000-07:00

John and I met with the birth mother Sunday night. It was a great meeting. We felt an instant connection to this young lady and I think we all felt better after having talked and shared. So, as of today, we are all going through with things. I am waiting to hear from the lawyer about our next steps. Our Ethiopian adoption will go on hold and I've just decided to give up trying to control whether our forms and paperwork will last until we can adopt from Ethiopia (we have to wait at least one year before adopting again). It wouldn't be the first time we lost some money in this process. So, the lesson for us is...Quit trying to control this process and enjoy the ride. Easier to write than do, but so far, when we have tried to manipulate or control paperwork, government forms, and process we have been diverted in a new direction.

Everyone is asking if it will be an open or closed adoption. We aren't sure. But we already feel like we were brought into this birth mother's life and to completely forget about that just doesn't feel good. Those are details we will work out as we go along. Could she change her mind? Yes. But right now, she feels sure she will go through with it. We all have to learn not to judge her and try to empathize with her in this situation too.

We are excited about this new direction. So, we begin to think about a nursery, cloth diapers (yes, I said cloth), car seats, and long nights. And we pray (a lot) for God to be working with our birth mother and our baby that they both are healthy and feeling God's peace for a huge transition in all our lives.

Connections Made!

2008-08-22T14:24:00.001-07:00

An update in our world of adoption mania!

We have been approached by a young lady (through a minister friend of Susan's) to be parent for her baby (due in January). We have not met this young woman yet. We hope to on Sunday. We have talked with a lawyer and after meeting her on Sunday we hope to have some clarity as whether to proceed with this private adoption or not. This all happened very interestingly. Susan was at Camp Meeting (http://www.denvernc.com/campmeeting.htm) and ran into a minister-friend who said, "Hey, Susan. Someone told me you would know who I could direct a young woman to who is interested in giving her baby up for adoption. Who can she go to?" Susan responded, "Us! Send her to us." The minister-friend had no idea we were going through adoption and we all felt like this was a God-directed moment. We are honored and humbled to be part of this process with this young lady and pray for discernment and guidance.

We have decided to continue with Ethiopia adoption and we are not quite sure what will happen with this. When we are firm with whether or not we will pursue this private adoption then we will contact our agency, CHSFS, and ask for their guidance. Our hope is that it would delay Ethiopia and we may have to update a few documents but not do the ENTIRE SET OF PAPERWORK ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!

So there is the latest. Ain't life funny? We don't realize just how connected we really all are!

Famine in Ethiopia

2008-08-18T13:45:00.000-07:00

Here is a news report on the famine in Ethiopia from USAToday.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2008-08-17-ethiopia_N.htm

Some would view this and say, "Aren't we blessed." I see this and think, "we ought to be ashamed that our neighbors are starving and we are overweight." Today, I say a prayer and ask God, "What can I do to help others? What can I do to share with others in need? Who can I speak to to make sure people are not going without the basic necessity of food?" I am reminded of Jesus saying, "When you did it to the least of these, you did it to me. When you did not do it to the least of these, you did not do it to me."

Let the Dossier Begin!

2008-08-07T11:40:00.000-07:00

Well we have officially been approved into the Ethiopia Program and now we are gathering all the necessary paperwork for the dossier. This is the packet of documents which goes to the country. Needless to say, the list is LONG and exhausting. But, so far, we have been able to check off quite a few of the needed documents! This process makes it feel very real and like we are somewhat "pregnant!" without the morning sickness!
We are always amazed at the "underground network" of adopting parents out there. It seems that we have already been connected with so many people. Reminds us of what a small world it really is.
John and I decided to clarify our number of children and ages in which we will adopt. We have settled on siblings, one or two children, ages infant to three. We figure this will keep our hands full enough!
Everyone always wants to know, "So, when will it happen?" We aren't exactly sure, but in looking at other people's experiences and timelines, we are imagining that this time next year we will have our children at home or will be getting ready to fly over to get them. Pray for Summer '09 to hurry up and get here!

This Week in the World of Adoption...

2008-07-24T11:50:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we received our draft of our homestudy. This is the document that our social worker has been working on. It chronicles our life in great detail. This, once fine-tuned, gets turned over to our adoption agency and I think gets sent on to Ethiopia (along with many other papers). Now, we begin the I-600A form which is an immigration form. This begins our fingerprinting process. But is another huge step along the way.
We are probably a year away and where most expecting parents begin the shopping process for diapers and cribs, we can't do that quite yet. But, I did pick up two little stuffed animals and a soft photo album. These will be sent to our children once we accept the referral. A care package is sent to help the children transition a bit better. They ask us to send pictures of the family and home and clothes and stuffed animals. They will have these things with them in the orphanage and then be able to bring them home. They say that for babies, the smell will be an important way of transitioning them home. John already rubbed the stuffed animals on himself so they would smell like him. Don't know if those children know what they are in for! :)
We will let you know when our next step is complete!

An Update

2008-07-15T04:51:00.000-07:00

Well, we came through our home study with flying colors. Our social worker is in the process of writing things up for us so we can send that to our adoption agency. Once our agency approves it then it is time for the dossier documents which I think will be lots of paperwork and more government approval (fingerprints, immigration stuff). And once that set of paperwork is done and approved, it all gets sent to Ethiopia. They review our paperwork and make a match. Yea! Once we are matched with a child or with a sibling group then Ethiopia has to go through some court dates and obtain new birth certificates for the children. Then we travel. So, we are looking at a good year to make all of this happen!

Why siblings? John and I thought we would be able to adopt a sibling group. We felt like siblings are sometimes overlooked and do not get adopted because they do not split them up. So, we have said we would adopt a sibling group of no more than three children from age 0-5 years old.

So, we continue to wait for the next step and learn all we can and enjoy our sleep while we can!

Hunger in Ethiopia

2008-07-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.unicef.org/ethiopia/

To read more about Ethiopia and ways you can help make a difference, go to UNICEF! John and I have purchased Plumpy Nut! Plumpy Nut is a peanut butter substance which is providing nutrition to malnurished children!

And the Country Is...

2008-06-30T14:00:00.001-07:00

Ethiopia!

We are thrilled to continuing our pursuit for being matched with our child or children in Ethiopia! Many have asked why we chose Ethiopia and our answer is not simple. One, we feel led to pursue the country. The time is a bit shorter, our children have the potential of being younger, the agency which we are working with has a great relationship with the orphanage and has a full-time doctor, nurse, and English teacher on staff. The children are well cared for and we feel that we would be able to provide a loving home for a child or siblings there. We look forward to sharing more information as we learn more and letting you know of our next steps.

Thanks for the support!

Which Country Will They Choose?

2008-06-25T16:25:00.000-07:00

Well, the topic of conversation for us has been, "which country?" There is more that goes into choosing a country than we thought. We think we have decided but we will share that with you all when we are positive. We had a great conversation with our social worker at Nathanson this past Monday which helped us process some things. We talked a lot with him about parenting, attachment, and interracial parenting. So much to consider. We turned in part II of our application this week and we have completed all of our required hours of adoption education. That was very helpful! Every parent should go through some of that education before they have a child!
Thanks for all the support, prayers, and love! We will continue to keep you all posted.

The Journey Toward International Adoption Has Begun

2008-06-18T06:58:00.001-07:00

We are thrilled to have begun the process of international adoption. After a couple of years of struggle and ups and downs, we can't wait to meet our child or children who is/are out there somewhere.

We have our application for adoption with Children's Home Society and Family Services (CHSFS), an agency in MN. Currently we are working with Nathanson Adoption Services to complete our Homestudy. Once this is down and submitted to CHSFS then the work with the country begins.

It is a tedious process but with each step we get a little bit closer to our child.

Keep checking in on the latest news!